"Even though the juror of the art show gave the award to the white specks, that is never the point of entering shows. Today was a hard day because I feel like I've been witness to far too much injustice lately. For a moment it made me wonder if all my efforts are for nothing. The only thing I know is I have never regretted NOT giving up. I could spend my whole life drawing portraits like these that hang in some hidden corner while white specks gets the blue ribbon, and I would never regret it. | Sometimes the most desperate places are the most self-reflecting. I am not in what I would call a "happy place" in my life. I have not felt this hopeless in a long time. Yet the highlights of my day include the hug I received from an eleven-year-old girl I've been giving private art lessons and coming back to this blog and finding people are still looking at it, even though I haven't been writing in it. I picked up the artwork you see above from a local exhibition today, and these exhibitions are almost carbon-copy experiences for me; the weirdest pieces almost always win. I like abstract, modern art myself and have even done some of my own, but when the winning piece is a black image with white specks, well . . . I just don't get it! Regardless of feeling unrecognized in the juried art world, I feel appreciated virtually anywhere else my art goes. I mean that. That's why I'm back on here; I know people are looking and I need to show my appreciation by offering something new to see. This is a graphite drawing on 9x12 plastic. Yes, that sounds strange, but I found the plastic from the printing store where I teach art lessons; it has just enough fine texture to hold ink. When I was doing a new experience each week in 2009, I found some of that plastic rolled up in a garbage when I was closing the store, and thought, "This is too pretty to be in the garbage; I wonder if I could draw on this?" It had a sheen that reminded me of a movie screen. I experimented that night and found the plastic took pencil very well. I did a few small drawings before starting this 9x12 piece, which I didn't finish until about a year and a half later. I'll tell you the only thing harder than a portrait is two portraits, especially a man and a woman! The figures must not only be in correct proportion, but must also perfectly match each other, so one is not too big or too small. This picture is all freehand (meaning I didn't use a projector or any kind of tracing device) and it is based on a movie still from a 1941 film, "The Lady Eve." I found the picture in a Hallmark book called, "Perfect Pairs," by Hulton Getty. It has classic Hollywood couples in black and white movie stills. If you guessed this is Barbara Stanwyck and Henry Fonda, you are right! It might be well before my time, but I love the photo. In fact, all the better to love it; I could hardly resist the highlights in Barbara's sequined dress. I love how Henry Fonda looks like he doesn't know whether to stay or to go. Surprisingly, Barbara Stanwyck's face was far more difficult to draw than Henry Fonda's! Being female, a woman's face is far easier to draw because it is more familiar. However, her face is at an angle where you can only see parts of her nose and mouth; in fact, if you look very carefully, there is just a hint of her left nostril beside the shadow of Henry Fonda's cheekbone. I didn't originally draw it because I didn't see it, but without it, her face seemed too flat. |
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I used to absolutely hate acrylic paint. It dried too fast, it was thick and sticky, it wasted itself on my palette--which was made for watercolors by the way, not acrylics. But it still held a promise to me despite my frustration. I'd notice artwork done in this medium that would speak to me despite my predisposition. I still felt like I didn't have what it took to paint quickly enough to work in acrylics. Last year Ogden Pioneer Days decided to commission artists to paint twenty-four life-size fiberglass horses and place them at various spots around the city. The horses could be painted in oils, but I think that would be a mistake for anyone. Oils have a very slow drying time and need at least six months to cure before using a final varnish. The horses would be clear coated with an automotive finish in a much shorter time period, which would leave oil paint susceptible to cracking in the future. For me acrylic paint was the only logical medium. But of course that means, I would have to paint in acrylics! But what to do if I "cant"? People kept asking me if I was going to paint a horse, but I decided against even submitting a design to the selection committee because I knew I wasn't prepared to work in acrylics, let alone use them to paint a life size horse. I like to jump at a challenge, but its important to be sure you're wearing you're parachute when you skydive; in other words, I wanted a challenge but I had to respect my limitations. I knew however, that the horses of July 2008 were only the first wave for in another year, there would be more horses and a second chance. There would also be more artists submitting designs and perhaps a smaller opportunity for me to be chosen, but a chance is a chance. I applied and after a long wait, I got the call that I had been selected. I only had sixteen days to actually paint the horse. Total painting time was 51 hours. Plus I spent a few days prior putting primer over and trying to sand the horse, which was another 10 hours, but the first to last stroke of paint occurred entirely over a period of two weeks and two days (finishing gleefully at two in the morning). That's not a great deal of time to paint anything, especially when it's a horse. At least this one didn't move. When I look at the amount of work I put into this, I realize I wouldn't have been able to do this a year ago, even in twice the amount of time. It took that time to learn to use and appreciate a new medium and realize I can use these tubes of paint just as well as I use any other. I will tell you on behalf of all the artists who have painted one or more horses for Pioneer Days, it is not easy. You are standing for hours and often in odd positions, such as when painting under the head or stomach or sides of the legs. For anyone here in Utah who hasn't seen these horses, I strongly recommend walking up and down downtown Ogden for some fun. There seem to be most of them up and down 25th Street. This is also a great time because of all the talented artists and vendors participating in the Farmer's Market. You really don't want to just sit at home all day on a beautiful Saturday morning anyway do you? We all need culture in our lives. You know you can always take a belly dancing class while you're at it (see my other blog) . . . Overall painting this horse has been a great experience for me. I am so happy with the way it turned out and all the cheer leading I received from friends and family. There is so much work put into this celebration of Ogden; it is wonderful to be a part of it. The horse is on display in front of Ogden Blue on 175 Historic 25th Street. She is called "Ben Lomond Blue" as the mountain is the focus of my design. I consider this one of my greatest artistic achievements and it never would have been possible if I held onto my prior attitude. I am very grateful to have had the opportunity to paint this horse. Even with such a short time frame, it was worth all the effort. Exploring this medium has changed my life. Now I can do commissions that were once impossible for me. It is amazing how one simple ripple in our lives can lead to dramatic differences. |
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